I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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