so explain again why im purple
no
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
