that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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