They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize