hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
