One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
