Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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