So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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