Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
