just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
