sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He shit in the fireplace
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
