i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
