does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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