Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.