why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
