I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
