Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
