Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize