white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
wow bdsm is so cute
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