Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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