Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize