My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
