In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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