Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
