God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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