I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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