Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
