I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
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