In the future we'll all be gay
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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