I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize