Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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