he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we're so committed to being not committed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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