Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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