apparently the secret to your success is patron
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
