can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
