Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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