did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So vagazzling was a success
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize