Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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