I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
