and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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