He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
