ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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