i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
