1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize