The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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