We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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