I think my fart just growled at me.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
