Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
