im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
