it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
