I feel like abortions should bother me more
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
