I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize