Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love having hate sex.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
