you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
