she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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