Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going