new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
