i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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