using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
