The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize